Appreciation

 

 

 

   

Gratitude because.....

“We count our miseries carefully,
and accept our blessings without much thought."
~ Chinese Proverb

I have met countless people who can describe in detail why something is unpleasant for them, why something isn’t working or what is going wrong in their life, and yet their gratitude is only a single word or short phrase. Does being able to explain in detail the reason why you have gratitude for something make a difference in the energy behind it? I went on a quest for answers.

Some people I talked with had long laundry lists of gratitude,but they seemed to talk more about their problems and complaints. Others had shorter lists, and shared beautiful stories with me about each items on their list.

I met people who had similar items on their gratitude list and different responses to my question: “you are grateful for this because…..?”

One woman I met with had written “I am thankful for my health” on her gratitude list. When I asked her “You are grateful for your health because…..”, her answer was a sharp: “Well! Because I just am, and I am insulted to be asked why!.” It reminded me of when my parents would tell me do to something and when I asked why I heard: ” because I said so”. This answer didn’t help me to understand.

In contrast, I met with Nancy who also had written on her list “I am thankful for my health”. When I asked “she was grateful because….” what she told me was: “I am thankful I have my health, because that means I can take care of my kids. I brought these beautiful children in the world and they depend on me. When I have my health I can enjoy them and take care of them. And that make me feel such a deep feeling for love and life, that I call that a grateful feeling.” In order to feel the depth of her gratitude Nancy believes that she must be willing to know why she feels gratitude. Anything less, to her, is simply lip service.

I find that every time I do this exercise I find new feelings around each incident I list in Gratitude. Several other people shared with me how doing this exercise made a difference in their depth of understanding and increased their feelings of gratitude.

“He who knows others is learned;
He who knows himself is wise.”
~ Lao-tzu, Tao te Ching

For this Thanksgiving season, do this for yourself and see if there is any difference in the depth of your feelings of Gratitude.

Write down a few things on that you are Grateful for.
And then continue the sentence with: because…..|
See what you can discover with your because.

"The important thing is not to stop questioning our reasons
Never lose a holy curiosity.”
~ Albert Einstein

(c) 2009 excerpt from book: Stress Out, show stress who's the boss

Focus on the reasons to complain = stress

Focus on the reasons for gratitude = happy

More happy = less stress

www.StressOut-book.com

Stress is a constant in our lives - such a constant that we actually don’t realize we are under stress, we think it’s “just part of life.” Health surveys report that over 70% of people feel stress everyday. Some stress is helpful, but most stress is destructive; it can age you and it can kill you. In this special book Sumner M. Davenport brings together advice from experts in their fields; plus stories and testimonials from individuals interviewed during her extensive search for easy solutions that help to show stress who’s the boss.

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Congruence and Gratitude

“You can tell a person,
not by what they say they are gratitude for,
but how they respect
what they claim to be grateful for.”
~ Mrs. Donna Priscott~

My mother was of my greatest examples on how to live life with honesty and integrity. This quote was one of her favorite sayings. Long after her passing, I remember every time she said it to me. She wanted me to learn that people don’t just see what I say, they learn who I am by how my actions match my words.

If I expressed gratitude for something then I needed to show respect for it and protect it just as I would anything else that was important to me.

My parents were married for over 50 years. My Mom said a gratitude prayer every day for her marriage and relationship with my Dad. Every day she worked to make sure he knew how much she meant that. She never looked at another man and she always made sure our home was a happy place for Dad to come home to after a long day at work. She was grateful for her two kids, and she spent time teaching us how to be our best, learn our best and present our best.

When I gained over 60 pounds excess weight in college, and the doctors prescribed medicine for high blood pressure, she didn’t ask me why. She asked me if I was grateful for my healthy body and if I was then why was I carrying the extra weight that was having a negative effect on my health?
When my bother experimented with drugs in High School she asked him the same question.

She simply told us to make a choice and live by our words. My choice was to ether give up saying gratitude for a healthy body or give up the unnecessary weight. Her message was empowering and not judgmental, even though I knew she didn’t approve our behaviors. Mom taught me best by her example. I hope I can be as good a Mom as she was to me.

Are you congruent with your gratitude?

Are you showing respect to your gratitude by your actions?

If yes, what are you doing?

If no, what can you change?


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Contributed by Veronica Davina, for inclusion in the book: The “G” Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude, Author Sumner M. Davenport, Self Investment Publishing, #ISBN 9780981523859

National Friendship Day

Human beings are social creatures who respond to the love and affection of others. Genuine friendship has been valued as one of the most important things in life. To celebrate friendship and the blessings it brings us, it was deemed fit to have a day dedicated to friends and friendship and the first Sunday of August was declared as a holiday in US in honor of friends by a Proclamation made by US Congress in 1935.

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy;
they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
~ Marcel Proust ~

I offer you this gentle reminder of friendship. Part of this has circulated the internet for years. Many of the quotes you may have already seen or heard. When I found it in my files this morning, it was the timely reminder on a perfect day.

"I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In 1st grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and who held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

In 2nd grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In 3rd grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours.

In 4th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in the gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck "do-si-do-ing " with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In 5th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In 6th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan (your new crush) and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't be embarrassed.

In 7th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the Social Studies homework from the night before that you did.

In 8th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you broke out into tears.

In 9th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.

In 10th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with during lunch.

In 11th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded and helped you find a date to the prom.

In 12th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college or university and assured you that you would get into that college or university, or helped you deal with it when you didn't make it.

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed a big smile on the outside as they congratulated you.

The summer after graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick (or you and Susan) were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind. And most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

"In prosperity, our friends know us;
in adversity, we know our friends"
~ John Churton Collins ~

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, makes time for you, overlooks your mistakes, helps you to deal with pressure from others, smiles for you even when they are sad, helps you understand how priceless you are, and most importantly loves you.

I am deeply grateful, today and everyday, for my genuine friends. With them I have discovered and enjoyed many of lifes blessings.

"A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out."
~Walter Winchell ~

No matter where we go or how our lives change, we never forget those who walked with us and supported us in getting there.

"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend."
~ Albert Camus ~

There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message to show your friends you miss them or care about them.

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make
is that they can grow separately
without growing apart."
~ Elisabeth Foley~

May you be validated everyday

This video was created by an online friend of mine.

Be sure to visit her profile and see more of what she has to offer:
http://jasonsnetwork.com/Cherokee





The"G" Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude

What is genuine gratitude?

Do you have an opinion, a belief in gratitude or a passionate knowing? Were you taught how to be grateful, or was it a lesson you learned through experience?

My research on the subject of gratitude took several years. I sought out selected people to share their favorite quote, or a unique one of their own. I asked for explanations and definitions of Gratitude. I asked: What is genuine Gratitude – really? Is it only for the events and people in your life that you define as “good”? What if your life feels like a struggle? Where does genuine gratitude fit then? What if someone told you that Gratitude is the way through anything in life, how do you find genuine gratitude? Can you really be grateful for world events, broken relationships, lost jobs, loved ones passing away, betrayals, health issues and other challenges in your life? Is there a difference between writing a laundry list of items and feeling the depth of passion of genuine gratitude? What if your gratitude is so automatic that the passion is missing, and your comments about gratitude have become empty words?

I was seeking the deepest understanding of genuine gratitude. I was seeking “how-to” tools that could be for any person at any stage of their understanding of the passion of genuine gratitude. I asked how they would inspire someone to feel gratitude whose spark had gone out, and especially how they inspired themselves. What was repeated throughout my research was that passionately genuine gratitude is only possible when you understand your own motivations and what is important to you. One woman I interviewed was surprised to hear her young daughter tell her that she was grateful for something only because she had been told she was supposed to be grateful for it. Having the choice on how to express your gratitude is powerful; the choice to make your own decisions on what and why you feel gratitude – or not.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forge that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~ John F. Kennedy ~

How do you life your words of gratitude?

People fake many things in life and some even fake gratitude. Of the people I interviewed, many people could be grateful because of an event or a person, but few actually were living genuinely grateful lives, by their own definition. The research for this book indicated that non genuine gratitude can instill guilt and add to low self esteem.

One woman shared how important it is for your words of gratitude to be congruent with your actions towards whatever you are grateful for. I have shared this idea with numerous people I talk with and their reactions range from a somber pondering to being angry I mentioned it.

It turned out that it wasn’t easy for people to describe the passion of genuine gratitude. With all the books and teachings on gratitude from every religious, spiritual and motivational angle, I was surprised to find that when it came to explaining genuine gratitude, it seemed to be a difficult task for many people. So many people I spoke with were afraid to question gratitude. I heard people motivated to gratitude by fear and guilt. People fake many things in life and I found that some even fake gratitude. And if we fake gratitude, are we able to feel the passion?

A few people rose to the occasion and the opportunity to help another person with their experience; others were suspicious and some were insulting. Others gave me their gratitude list of what they were grateful for, but couldn’t explain the passion. Some people simply sent me a list of quotes they found on the internet. That was the extent of their ability to explain Gratitude. Others gave me their gratitude list of specific events or people, but still couldn’t explain the passion. And other people gave me platitudes. Platitude (noun) a flat, dull, or trite remark, esp. one uttered as if it were fresh or profound. I was amazed at all sides of the equation.

And in contrast, I received a few powerful and inspirational explanations from people that moved me emotionally – I could feel their passion. Some also shared the tools they use to remind themselves how to live their words of gratitude.

I observed people who spoke of genuine gratitude to see how they lived their words. When I looked at the difference in the answers and information I received, I could actually see the difference in these peoples’ lives as well. In some it appeared they were living a harmonious life and others appeared to be in disharmony with things around them. One person sent me a platitude that “all is good and just stop and feel grateful”, and yet during our last lunch together, her behavior was in contrast to that statement. Another person with expressed deep convictions of genuine gratitude appeared to find something thankful everywhere she went.

My findings from several years of personal interviews and research, has been published into the book “The “G” Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude. Included in the book are contributions from courageous people who were willing to share their intimate understanding of how genuine gratitude fits in their life.. Co-contributors: Whitney Allen, Monica Burnert, Catherine "CC" Collier, Veronica Davina, Michelle Granger, Lorraine Jackson, Ann Hill, Jacqueline Johns, Lou Paget, Kelly Phillips, Marcie Taylor, Dr. Bunny Vreeland, Glennie Wilburn.

The message in this book invites you on a self discovery journey sometimes through other perspectives and opinions. This blog invites you to connect with others, and share your comments about Gratitude.

"This is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way." ~ Doris Lessing ~

The "G" Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude.

TESTIMONIAL: "Congruency of gratitude and actions - the section with 'Mom's' words was an eye opener." ~Janis Murphy, Lexington, MO ~

TESTIMONIAL: "What a wonderful intimate journey into my own understanding and knowingness." ~ Brenda Clark, Phoenix, AZ ~

TESTIMONIAL: "Colors have a deeper meaning for me now. What beautiful insight and inspiration" ~ Caroline Palmer, Vancouver, B.C., Canada ~

TESTIMONIAL: "One mother's experience was what I needed to read. It helped me with my own loss, and shined a light on how and where I could find the healing energy of genuine gratitude." ~ Tracy Purcel, NYC ~

This book was launched with the support of several partners who offer free Thank You bonus gifts with every purchase of the book. You can find out more information about these bonus gifts by following this link

Everything is a miracle

’There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
~ Albert Einstein ~