Do you have an opinion, a belief in gratitude or a passionate knowing? Were you taught how to be grateful, or was it a lesson you learned through experience?
My research on the subject of gratitude took several years. I sought out selected people to share their favorite quote, or a unique one of their own. I asked for explanations and definitions of Gratitude. I asked: What is genuine Gratitude – really? Is it only for the events and people in your life that you define as “good”? What if your life feels like a struggle? Where does genuine gratitude fit then? What if someone told you that Gratitude is the way through anything in life, how do you find genuine gratitude? Can you really be grateful for world events, broken relationships, lost jobs, loved ones passing away, betrayals, health issues and other challenges in your life? Is there a difference between writing a laundry list of items and feeling the depth of passion of genuine gratitude? What if your gratitude is so automatic that the passion is missing, and your comments about gratitude have become empty words?
I was seeking the deepest understanding of genuine gratitude. I was seeking “how-to” tools that could be for any person at any stage of their understanding of the passion of genuine gratitude. I asked how they would inspire someone to feel gratitude whose spark had gone out, and especially how they inspired themselves. What was repeated throughout my research was that passionately genuine gratitude is only possible when you understand your own motivations and what is important to you. One woman I interviewed was surprised to hear her young daughter tell her that she was grateful for something only because she had been told she was supposed to be grateful for it. Having the choice on how to express your gratitude is powerful; the choice to make your own decisions on what and why you feel gratitude – or not.
"As we express our gratitude, we must never forge that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~ John F. Kennedy ~
How do you life your words of gratitude?
People fake many things in life and some even fake gratitude. Of the people I interviewed, many people could be grateful because of an event or a person, but few actually were living genuinely grateful lives, by their own definition. The research for this book indicated that non genuine gratitude can instill guilt and add to low self esteem.
One woman shared how important it is for your words of gratitude to be congruent with your actions towards whatever you are grateful for. I have shared this idea with numerous people I talk with and their reactions range from a somber pondering to being angry I mentioned it.
It turned out that it wasn’t easy for people to describe the passion of genuine gratitude. With all the books and teachings on gratitude from every religious, spiritual and motivational angle, I was surprised to find that when it came to explaining genuine gratitude, it seemed to be a difficult task for many people. So many people I spoke with were afraid to question gratitude. I heard people motivated to gratitude by fear and guilt. People fake many things in life and I found that some even fake gratitude. And if we fake gratitude, are we able to feel the passion?
A few people rose to the occasion and the opportunity to help another person with their experience; others were suspicious and some were insulting. Others gave me their gratitude list of what they were grateful for, but couldn’t explain the passion. Some people simply sent me a list of quotes they found on the internet. That was the extent of their ability to explain Gratitude. Others gave me their gratitude list of specific events or people, but still couldn’t explain the passion. And other people gave me platitudes. Platitude (noun) a flat, dull, or trite remark, esp. one uttered as if it were fresh or profound. I was amazed at all sides of the equation.
And in contrast, I received a few powerful and inspirational explanations from people that moved me emotionally – I could feel their passion. Some also shared the tools they use to remind themselves how to live their words of gratitude.
I observed people who spoke of genuine gratitude to see how they lived their words. When I looked at the difference in the answers and information I received, I could actually see the difference in these peoples’ lives as well. In some it appeared they were living a harmonious life and others appeared to be in disharmony with things around them. One person sent me a platitude that “all is good and just stop and feel grateful”, and yet during our last lunch together, her behavior was in contrast to that statement. Another person with expressed deep convictions of genuine gratitude appeared to find something thankful everywhere she went.
My findings from several years of personal interviews and research, has been published into the book “The “G” Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude. Included in the book are contributions from courageous people who were willing to share their intimate understanding of how genuine gratitude fits in their life.. Co-contributors: Whitney Allen, Monica Burnert, Catherine "CC" Collier, Veronica Davina, Michelle Granger, Lorraine Jackson, Ann Hill, Jacqueline Johns, Lou Paget, Kelly Phillips, Marcie Taylor, Dr. Bunny Vreeland, Glennie Wilburn.
The message in this book invites you on a self discovery journey sometimes through other perspectives and opinions. This blog invites you to connect with others, and share your comments about Gratitude.
"This is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way." ~ Doris Lessing ~
The "G" Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude.
TESTIMONIAL: "Congruency of gratitude and actions - the section with 'Mom's' words was an eye opener." ~Janis Murphy, Lexington, MO ~
TESTIMONIAL: "What a wonderful intimate journey into my own understanding and knowingness." ~ Brenda Clark, Phoenix, AZ ~
TESTIMONIAL: "Colors have a deeper meaning for me now. What beautiful insight and inspiration" ~ Caroline Palmer, Vancouver, B.C., Canada ~
TESTIMONIAL: "One mother's experience was what I needed to read. It helped me with my own loss, and shined a light on how and where I could find the healing energy of genuine gratitude." ~ Tracy Purcel, NYC ~
