Gratitude because.....

“We count our miseries carefully,
and accept our blessings without much thought."
~ Chinese Proverb

I have met countless people who can describe in detail why something is unpleasant for them, why something isn’t working or what is going wrong in their life, and yet their gratitude is only a single word or short phrase. Does being able to explain in detail the reason why you have gratitude for something make a difference in the energy behind it? I went on a quest for answers.

Some people I talked with had long laundry lists of gratitude,but they seemed to talk more about their problems and complaints. Others had shorter lists, and shared beautiful stories with me about each items on their list.

I met people who had similar items on their gratitude list and different responses to my question: “you are grateful for this because…..?”

One woman I met with had written “I am thankful for my health” on her gratitude list. When I asked her “You are grateful for your health because…..”, her answer was a sharp: “Well! Because I just am, and I am insulted to be asked why!.” It reminded me of when my parents would tell me do to something and when I asked why I heard: ” because I said so”. This answer didn’t help me to understand.

In contrast, I met with Nancy who also had written on her list “I am thankful for my health”. When I asked “she was grateful because….” what she told me was: “I am thankful I have my health, because that means I can take care of my kids. I brought these beautiful children in the world and they depend on me. When I have my health I can enjoy them and take care of them. And that make me feel such a deep feeling for love and life, that I call that a grateful feeling.” In order to feel the depth of her gratitude Nancy believes that she must be willing to know why she feels gratitude. Anything less, to her, is simply lip service.

I find that every time I do this exercise I find new feelings around each incident I list in Gratitude. Several other people shared with me how doing this exercise made a difference in their depth of understanding and increased their feelings of gratitude.

“He who knows others is learned;
He who knows himself is wise.”
~ Lao-tzu, Tao te Ching

For this Thanksgiving season, do this for yourself and see if there is any difference in the depth of your feelings of Gratitude.

Write down a few things on that you are Grateful for.
And then continue the sentence with: because…..|
See what you can discover with your because.

"The important thing is not to stop questioning our reasons
Never lose a holy curiosity.”
~ Albert Einstein

(c) 2009 excerpt from book: Stress Out, show stress who's the boss

Focus on the reasons to complain = stress

Focus on the reasons for gratitude = happy

More happy = less stress

www.StressOut-book.com

Stress is a constant in our lives - such a constant that we actually don’t realize we are under stress, we think it’s “just part of life.” Health surveys report that over 70% of people feel stress everyday. Some stress is helpful, but most stress is destructive; it can age you and it can kill you. In this special book Sumner M. Davenport brings together advice from experts in their fields; plus stories and testimonials from individuals interviewed during her extensive search for easy solutions that help to show stress who’s the boss.

.

.

Congruence and Gratitude

“You can tell a person,
not by what they say they are gratitude for,
but how they respect
what they claim to be grateful for.”
~ Mrs. Donna Priscott~

My mother was of my greatest examples on how to live life with honesty and integrity. This quote was one of her favorite sayings. Long after her passing, I remember every time she said it to me. She wanted me to learn that people don’t just see what I say, they learn who I am by how my actions match my words.

If I expressed gratitude for something then I needed to show respect for it and protect it just as I would anything else that was important to me.

My parents were married for over 50 years. My Mom said a gratitude prayer every day for her marriage and relationship with my Dad. Every day she worked to make sure he knew how much she meant that. She never looked at another man and she always made sure our home was a happy place for Dad to come home to after a long day at work. She was grateful for her two kids, and she spent time teaching us how to be our best, learn our best and present our best.

When I gained over 60 pounds excess weight in college, and the doctors prescribed medicine for high blood pressure, she didn’t ask me why. She asked me if I was grateful for my healthy body and if I was then why was I carrying the extra weight that was having a negative effect on my health?
When my bother experimented with drugs in High School she asked him the same question.

She simply told us to make a choice and live by our words. My choice was to ether give up saying gratitude for a healthy body or give up the unnecessary weight. Her message was empowering and not judgmental, even though I knew she didn’t approve our behaviors. Mom taught me best by her example. I hope I can be as good a Mom as she was to me.

Are you congruent with your gratitude?

Are you showing respect to your gratitude by your actions?

If yes, what are you doing?

If no, what can you change?


***


Contributed by Veronica Davina, for inclusion in the book: The “G” Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude, Author Sumner M. Davenport, Self Investment Publishing, #ISBN 9780981523859

National Friendship Day

Human beings are social creatures who respond to the love and affection of others. Genuine friendship has been valued as one of the most important things in life. To celebrate friendship and the blessings it brings us, it was deemed fit to have a day dedicated to friends and friendship and the first Sunday of August was declared as a holiday in US in honor of friends by a Proclamation made by US Congress in 1935.

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy;
they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
~ Marcel Proust ~

I offer you this gentle reminder of friendship. Part of this has circulated the internet for years. Many of the quotes you may have already seen or heard. When I found it in my files this morning, it was the timely reminder on a perfect day.

"I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In 1st grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and who held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

In 2nd grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In 3rd grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours.

In 4th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in the gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck "do-si-do-ing " with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In 5th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In 6th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan (your new crush) and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't be embarrassed.

In 7th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the Social Studies homework from the night before that you did.

In 8th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you broke out into tears.

In 9th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.

In 10th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with during lunch.

In 11th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded and helped you find a date to the prom.

In 12th grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college or university and assured you that you would get into that college or university, or helped you deal with it when you didn't make it.

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed a big smile on the outside as they congratulated you.

The summer after graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick (or you and Susan) were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind. And most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

"In prosperity, our friends know us;
in adversity, we know our friends"
~ John Churton Collins ~

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, makes time for you, overlooks your mistakes, helps you to deal with pressure from others, smiles for you even when they are sad, helps you understand how priceless you are, and most importantly loves you.

I am deeply grateful, today and everyday, for my genuine friends. With them I have discovered and enjoyed many of lifes blessings.

"A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out."
~Walter Winchell ~

No matter where we go or how our lives change, we never forget those who walked with us and supported us in getting there.

"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend."
~ Albert Camus ~

There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message to show your friends you miss them or care about them.

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make
is that they can grow separately
without growing apart."
~ Elisabeth Foley~

May you be validated everyday

This video was created by an online friend of mine.

Be sure to visit her profile and see more of what she has to offer:
http://jasonsnetwork.com/Cherokee





The"G" Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude