Do you have an opinion, a belief in gratitude or a passionate knowing? Were you taught how to be grateful, or was it a lesson you learned through experience?
My research on the subject of gratitude took several years. I sought out selected people to share their favorite quote, or a unique one of their own. I asked for explanations and definitions of Gratitude. I asked: What is genuine Gratitude – really? Is it only for the events and people in your life that you define as “good”? What if your life feels like a struggle? Where does genuine gratitude fit then? What if someone told you that Gratitude is the way through anything in life, how do you find genuine gratitude? Can you really be grateful for world events, broken relationships, lost jobs, loved ones passing away, betrayals, health issues and other challenges in your life? Is there a difference between writing a laundry list of items and feeling the depth of passion of genuine gratitude? What if your gratitude is so automatic that the passion is missing, and your comments about gratitude have become empty words?
I was seeking the deepest understanding of genuine gratitude. I was seeking “how-to” tools that could be for any person at any stage of their understanding of the passion of genuine gratitude. I asked how they would inspire someone to feel gratitude whose spark had gone out, and especially how they inspired themselves. What was repeated throughout my research was that passionately genuine gratitude is only possible when you understand your own motivations and what is important to you. One woman I interviewed was surprised to hear her young daughter tell her that she was grateful for something only because she had been told she was supposed to be grateful for it. Having the choice on how to express your gratitude is powerful; the choice to make your own decisions on what and why you feel gratitude – or not.
"As we express our gratitude, we must never forge that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~ John F. Kennedy ~
How do you life your words of gratitude?
People fake many things in life and some even fake gratitude. Of the people I interviewed, many people could be grateful because of an event or a person, but few actually were living genuinely grateful lives, by their own definition. The research for this book indicated that non genuine gratitude can instill guilt and add to low self esteem.
One woman shared how important it is for your words of gratitude to be congruent with your actions towards whatever you are grateful for. I have shared this idea with numerous people I talk with and their reactions range from a somber pondering to being angry I mentioned it.
It turned out that it wasn’t easy for people to describe the passion of genuine gratitude. With all the books and teachings on gratitude from every religious, spiritual and motivational angle, I was surprised to find that when it came to explaining genuine gratitude, it seemed to be a difficult task for many people. So many people I spoke with were afraid to question gratitude. I heard people motivated to gratitude by fear and guilt. People fake many things in life and I found that some even fake gratitude. And if we fake gratitude, are we able to feel the passion?
A few people rose to the occasion and the opportunity to help another person with their experience; others were suspicious and some were insulting. Others gave me their gratitude list of what they were grateful for, but couldn’t explain the passion. Some people simply sent me a list of quotes they found on the internet. That was the extent of their ability to explain Gratitude. Others gave me their gratitude list of specific events or people, but still couldn’t explain the passion. And other people gave me platitudes. Platitude (noun) a flat, dull, or trite remark, esp. one uttered as if it were fresh or profound. I was amazed at all sides of the equation.
And in contrast, I received a few powerful and inspirational explanations from people that moved me emotionally – I could feel their passion. Some also shared the tools they use to remind themselves how to live their words of gratitude.
I observed people who spoke of genuine gratitude to see how they lived their words. When I looked at the difference in the answers and information I received, I could actually see the difference in these peoples’ lives as well. In some it appeared they were living a harmonious life and others appeared to be in disharmony with things around them. One person sent me a platitude that “all is good and just stop and feel grateful”, and yet during our last lunch together, her behavior was in contrast to that statement. Another person with expressed deep convictions of genuine gratitude appeared to find something thankful everywhere she went.
My findings from several years of personal interviews and research, has been published into the book “The “G” Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude. Included in the book are contributions from courageous people who were willing to share their intimate understanding of how genuine gratitude fits in their life.. Co-contributors: Whitney Allen, Monica Burnert, Catherine "CC" Collier, Veronica Davina, Michelle Granger, Lorraine Jackson, Ann Hill, Jacqueline Johns, Lou Paget, Kelly Phillips, Marcie Taylor, Dr. Bunny Vreeland, Glennie Wilburn.
The message in this book invites you on a self discovery journey sometimes through other perspectives and opinions. This blog invites you to connect with others, and share your comments about Gratitude.
"This is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way." ~ Doris Lessing ~
The "G" Spot, the ecstasy of life through Gratitude.
TESTIMONIAL: "Congruency of gratitude and actions - the section with 'Mom's' words was an eye opener." ~Janis Murphy, Lexington, MO ~
TESTIMONIAL: "What a wonderful intimate journey into my own understanding and knowingness." ~ Brenda Clark, Phoenix, AZ ~
TESTIMONIAL: "Colors have a deeper meaning for me now. What beautiful insight and inspiration" ~ Caroline Palmer, Vancouver, B.C., Canada ~
TESTIMONIAL: "One mother's experience was what I needed to read. It helped me with my own loss, and shined a light on how and where I could find the healing energy of genuine gratitude." ~ Tracy Purcel, NYC ~
31 comments:
I do not recall the last time I read a book on Gratitude that stimulated me to think about my opinions and behaviors. I especially liked the section about the integrity of my words of gratitude. I too have said for years that I am grateful for my health but at the same time I am doing some things that undermine my health. I am overweight, and I don’t exercise, and sometimes I drink too much alcohol. I do have physical ailments that my doctor correlates to my unhealthy eating and sedentary lifestyle.
So when reading this chapter I had to be honest with myself if I was really grateful for my health, or grateful that my unhealthy habits weren't making my health any worse than it is. I’m not ready to change my eating and no exercise habits, but I am ready to be honest with myself.
I like the part about me being a hero.
This book is written with such honesty and compassion. In these pages I saw myself through the other people’s stories and ways that I can find the real genuine gratitude in my life. I was taught that I was supposed to be grateful for everything or I was disrespecting God. This book showed me how my honesty with my gratitude is the greater respect. Thank you
I bought this book because a friend recommended it. And then when I bought the book, I got some amazing free gifts too. 2008 has been a difficult year for me and it’s been tough to find much to be grateful for. With each chapter in this book, I feel a new charge of energy. I see where I can take baby steps when I feel overwhelmed by my circumstances. This is the first time I have written so many notes in a book when I read it. I have written so much on the journal pages that I had to buy a new journal. It’s helping me find the authentic me. I am genuinely grateful for this book.
Only a mother can know another mother’s pain. Losing a child can cloud how you see life. I felt so alone when I lost my son, and there didn’t seem to be anyone around that understood what I was going through. I felt lost because I couldn’t make my son better. I feel crushed under the weight of these feelings. When I read The Lioness Appears, “Within the sea of Gratitude, fear dissipates and a lioness erupts.” I sobbed for a long time. I didn’t see myself as being a strong person during his last days, I didn’t see anything to be grateful for, because I felt so helpless. Just reading this chapter connects me to one other mother who lost her son, but found her strength and her story is helping me find mine. Thank you for sharing her lioness experience.
I never asked why and now I do. I write grocery lists because I don’t want to forget what I need for my recipe, I write to-do lists so I can see how much I have to do, and now when I write my Gratitude list I can really see the depth of my gratitude and why.
I was taken aback by the book title, but now that I’ve read the book, I can see how it fits for authentic gratitude.
Animals have always been there for me when no one else would. God made animals so we could have these beautiful angels to learn how to love unconditionally.
I like the paperclip. I get so stressed at work and its the hardest place for me to feel grateful, so now every time I see a paperclip, I can take a moment to think of something to be grateful for.
I am impressed with the depth of intimacy shared by the writers in this book. I bought the book because I was intrigued by the title, and the suggestion of ecstasy of life as related to gratitude. I have believed myself to be grateful for most of my life. In reading some of the stories and quietly taking the time to be introspective, I can see where I missed out on some of the true essence of my own feelings. This book is timely for me and I look forward to sharing it with my friends and family. They deserve ecstasy of life as well. My gratitude to all the authors of this book.
There seems to be certain times of the year that most people are prompted to think about what they are grateful for, and usually this occurs after they have lost someone or something. Starting with the introduction, this book gave me reasons to think about being grateful and letting important people in my life know everyday.
So many coincidences in my life I never took time to be grateful for. A new way to look at happenings in my life. Thank you Ann.
In the past few years Attitude of Gratitude has joined the clichés the same as Law of Attraction and “being Authentic”. It is refreshing to read this book where clichés are not the hype but instead the message is about understanding your own truth and how genuine gratitude flows from that spot. Kudos
Thanksgiving has become such a habit in my life complete with complaints about having to spend another day with my critical family. Each year we go to the same family members home, taking the same food, talking about the same subjects and arguing about something before the green bean casserole is even passed around the table. I ordered the e-book so I could read this right away and I’m grateful that I did. I am going to Thanksgiving dinner this year with a new perspective and a new attitude. Happy Thanksgiving
We can all use reminders how to get to gratitude. Great book. Everyone on my gift list gets one.
I am grateful for my animals. They are my comfort and my best friends. Some people don't believe humans can communicate with animals, but they always know how I'm feeling. When I need to feel grateful, I start talking with my animals. Their unconditional love always reminds me how easy it is to love and let myself be loved.
Finally someone who tells the truth about that quote, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I agree with the results of the polls. This quote never makes me feel grateful. And now to read that this quote was originated by a man who didn’t believe in the existence of God, makes it even less a favorite. Glad to know I’m not alone in my dislike of this quote.
I gave copies of this paperback to everyone at my thanksgiving dinner and it became the topic of discussion throughout the day. We dissected, analyzed, argued, discussed and even laughed about it.
The most discussed quote is original to the author “Living your life through Gratitude, is not one of comparing how you are better than someone else; or gratitude only for what you own or obtain or achieve. Living your life through gratitude is seeing that the world would be missing something very unique and valuable if you were not in it.”
This quote really brought it home to personal responsibility for what we bring to the world by being alive. When we see ourselves as a human being with something valuable to contribute instead of simply taking up space then there seems to be a renewed energy of appreciation for ourselves.
Thought provoking.
I had not seen myself as a hero to anyone, especially myself until I did the hero exercise. It's not only a new way to look at myself, it's a new way to look at my life.
Honest opinions and attitudes. Not for everyone. Great self growth tool.
The first part is a quick introduction explaining what personally motivated Sumner Davenport on this journey. The Afterword section is just as riveting. She explains that it was difficult for many people to explain the deep meaning of gratitude and how platitudes were the pat answer for many. Her desperation for real answers led to the answers she shares in this book.
It is more than a feel-good book, it is a book to make you think.
I like how she tied the title and its meaning to the deep levels of real passion in life. She is right in saying that many people fake a lot of things, and some even fake gratitude. I am guilty of saying I was grateful when I really wasn’t. Being honest when I wasn’t feeling grateful has helped me to see the value of authentic gratitude.
The examples in this book are fresh and unique. The chapter on colors is a new idea for me, and one that has given me a fresh look at some of the pain in my life. The chapter on focusing deeply on one area of gratitude was difficult at first and now it has expanded my understanding of my own WHY.
Each chapter holds a jewel. Sumner Davenport has done a good job of presenting an easy way to see the truth in one’s own life- if they are willing to look deeply and lovingly at themselves.
I appreciate that this book is available in many formats, so I don’t always need to pack the paperback when I travel.
With so many people and books telling us how we shold behave and believe, it is refreshing to read a book that welcomes authentic honesty.
A book for all ages. Teaches the importance of honesty and responsibility.
Love the marketing headline - Not your typical book on gratitude, a book for the cynic, the hopeless, the happy and the grateful.
That headline matches the various individual messages in the book. Words of gratitude are only empty words unless there is the enery of passion within them. This books is an excellent self learning tool complete with exercises and journal pages.
I thought I was getting a book on quotes and sweet stories, that I could just kind of glance through, but this book has quotes and stories and stuff to think about. I like the extra space to write notes, especially when the book asked a question.
I really liked the Solace of Gratitude chapter. Ms. Johns expresses colors in a way I had not considered. We all get so locked into habits. Her beautifully and poetically written story offers new perceptions. Through a new set of eyes we can see new beginnings and perhaps new horizons on our path, and of course new feeligs of gratitude where none may have previously been welcomed. Thank you for the beauty of this chapter.
Last year was a very hard year. So many things were painful and difficult. I lost someone very close to me, I had health scares (and no insurance) and my financial problems were so overwhelming I had a minor heart attack. Every time heard someone tell me that all I needed to do was be grateful for what was working in my life, like at least I didn’t die from the heart attack, or at least some other body part was working, I felt like they didn’t really care about me. The more gratitude books people sent me or stories how someone else overcame their problems just made me feel more sad and helpless because I couldn’t do it. This book was a Christmas gift and the only reason I read it was because the title seemed like it would be different. I was right. Finally someone who writes that its alright to not be grateful the way someone else says I should be. I don’t have to fake it and I don’t have to apologize. I can get to grateful in my own time for the stuff in my life that I’m not happy about right now. And when I do, I know I will really be honestly grateful.
I've been having a rough life and some days seem harder than others. My daughter gave me this book, and today I prayed for guidance and let it fall open to any spot. The suggestion by Dr. Vreeland was the answer to my prayer today. Thank you
What a beautiful reminder from Jacqueline Johns using colors as a reminder as to how to get centered again. White is not the absence of color, white is a power color and a base in creating many other colors. White is also a cleanser and now Ms. Johns has given me another tool to start clean in any situation. Thank you
Gratitude as Glue. Makes sense. Being grateful for the people I my life keeps us all closer together.
I'm on page 109 where you recommend writing thank you notes. I just wrote one to my son for his birthday. Without your book, it would not have occured to me. Thank you.
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